


Cordelia's Blonde Hair Day

by Redcristal



Series: Woke up Blonde [7]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Criminal Minds (US TV), Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha | Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
Genre: Ethan is at it again, F/M, Magic, Multi, Woke up Blonde series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:45:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13420266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redcristal/pseuds/Redcristal
Summary: Day Cordelia Chase turned into a ... blonde. The horror!!!





	Cordelia's Blonde Hair Day

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to J. Whedon &Mutant Enemy, Elle Greenaway from Criminal Minds belongs to Jeff Davis and Mark Gordon Company, CBS Television Studios and ABC Studios. Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha belongs to Akiyuki Shinbo, Masaki Tsuzuki, and produced by Seven Arcs.  
> Main Character: Cordelia Chase  
> Secondary Characters: Adsila, Xander Harris, Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Rupert Giles, Jenny Calendar, Mr&Mrs Chase, Chase's housekeeper

***Sunnydale High school***

 

Cordelia was rummaging around her locker – where did she put that thing?

Aha, she thought, got ya; she grabbed the bottle, stashed it in her purse, and closed the door, revealing Xander Harris.

Leaning on the neighboring lockers, he parted his lips. "Sooo," he drawled, the dweebo; what in Sunnydale Hell did she see in him?

"Buffy's party."

Like she'd forget the freakazoid's party. "Well, just because she's Miss Saves-the-World and everything, you have to make a big deal? I have to cook! And everything!" Cordelia answered. What? Buffy might be a freak of nature, but she was still sort of useful as a friend – like how bug spray is useful.

"You're cooking?" Xander looked so … and she was insulted; who was he to doubt her capabilities?

"Well, I'm the chips and dips girl," she replied, and if he made some stupid remark, she'd roast him.

"Horrors!" Xander gasped. "All that opening and stirring."

Cordelia nodded and smiled at him – he deserved that reward of her smile as he did understand her hard work. "And shopping and carrying."

"Well, then you should have a person who does such things for you," Xander said.

Cordelia nodded her head; he really understood her well, better than daddy even. "Well, that's what I've been saying to my father, but does he listen?" she sighed, exasperated at daddy's unreasonable decision.

"Um, so, uh...You're going, and, and, and I'm going. Should... we maybe... go?" He was all bashful and awkward – how cute, not.

She raised her chin. "Why?" She had an idea that he was getting sappy and needy, and she really didn't need other people to know that she was sorta, kinda, maybe dating someone so beneath her.

"I dunno. This... thing with us, despite our better judgment, it keeps happening. Maybe we should just admit that we're dating."

Cordelia snorted, and she was right; ugh, he had to ruin her day. "Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until the guy spends money."

"Fine," Xander gritted out; aww, she hurt his feelings, "I'll spend, then we'll grope. Whatever. I just think it's some kind of whacked that we feel we have to hide it from all our friends."

Does he know what that would do to her reputation that she had nurtured since first grade?

Cordelia turned. "Well, of course you wanna tell everybody." She pointed at him accusingly. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I, on the other hand, have everything to be ashamed of."

Xander stepped back and raised his hands. "You know what? Nuff said. Forget it. It must have been my multiple-personality guy talking. I call him Idiot Jed, glutton for punishment."

Then he turned around and walked away, and Cordelia let him go. He'd probably go to the library, oh well, she guessed that she would see him and the others of the Spook Squad later on for Buffy's birthday party at the Bronze.

She was in so much denial that she was in that Squad herself – she quickly squashed that thought, then wrapped it in newspaper in the darkest and most remote corner of her mind, and hit it with a hammer until it died.

 

***Bronze***

 

Cordelia put her envelope with the pile of gifts on the table.

"I think I hear her coming!" Angel whispered, and he hid behind a pillar, while the others ran for their hiding spots. Giles disappeared somewhere in the shadows of the stairwell, but the rest ducked behind the pool table. Xander and Willow ducked behind the table, and she didn't see where Miss Calendar was herself, as Cordelia calmly glanced around– it wouldn't do to hide somewhere where it was dirty.

Xander peaked over the table, and Angel was doing the same from behind the pillar. "Where is she?" Angel asked, looking around.

Willow hushed them both. "Shhh! I think I hear her coming."

Cordelia shrugged and hid back in her clean hiding space – just as Buffy came crashing through the window with a vampire of course. Can she just have one day without vampires popping up? It was so annoying.

Everyone rushed over from their hiding places, but Cordelia wisely stayed behind – hey, if they wanted to be showered in vamp dust, she'd let them.

When the racket died down – and vampire ash fell to the floor Cordelia popped up from behind the pool table and yelled, "Surprise!"

Her idiot boyfriend, the little musician, Miss soft side of Sears, and mister Librarian all turned to look at her, well except for Buffy who was already facing her.

Music guy's – Cordelia thought his name was Oz voice broke the silence after she yelled that one word. "That pretty much sums it up."

Why was Harris shaking his head at her and tsk-ing? Cordelia lowered her arms and started to glare at him.  
Buffy meanwhile hopped down from the stage; Angel reached her then. "Buffy, are you okay?"

Why couldn't Xander ask her if she was okay? Didn't Cordelia deserve some concern?!

Giles took off his glasses. "Yes. W-what happened?"

Buffy pointed behind her at the front doors. "Uh, there were these vamps outs..." she trailed off, looking around, "Oh, um... A surprise party."

Cordelia shouldered her way to the front. "Happy birthday!" she said, smiling and handing Buffy her present.

Buffy looked around and smiled. "You guys did all of this for me?" She turned to Angel. "That is so sweet."

"You sure you're okay?" Angel repeated the question.

Buffy nodded. "Yes, I'm fine."

Giles then turned to Oz, who was looking at the pile of leftover ashes. "Are you okay?"

Cordelia did not wait to hear his answer, as she didn't care. She went to the table to take some snacks as she was a little hungry. When she picked out her favorite sweet, she turned back to the conversation.

"Yep," Xander was saying, accompanied with goofy hand gestures and funny faces, "vampires are real." She better start with the gift giving or Mr Know it all, aka Giles, would get into his 'The world is older than you know' lecture.

"A lot of them live in Sunnydale. Giles will fill you in." Xander moved out of Cordelia's way, but not before Oz's deadpan, "That explains a lot."

"It's a coupon for the hairdresser, so you'll look presentable," Cordelia told Buffy with a brilliant smile. Buffy returned the smile as she took the present.

Willow was next as she handed Buffy a box which she opened and inside was something woolly. Buffy put Cordelia's envelope into the box and closed the lid.

Giles handed over his gift next; it was a very thick boring black book with a red title.

"Sun Tzu on the Art of War by Lionel Giles," Xander read out loud, "Wait, Giles! Did you write a book!?"

"Of course not," Giles sputtered. "Just, I may have thrown the Watcher's issued Slayer Handbook away upon meeting Buffy, since making her read that would be an unusual punishment for her. This book however is forbidden reading for the Slayer."

"Oh why?" Buffy asked.

"Read it and you'll find out," the librarian guy said. Cordelia, meanwhile, helped herself to something salty – she needed something low in fat, and salty snacks were just the thing. Besides, with cheerleader practice and running around when the vampires were being pests were keeping her in shape.

Cordelia watched as Buffy unwrapped that leather bag that Xander had brought. There were some gaudy trinkets – probably fake gold colored and along with fake stones.

"Wow, Xander," Buffy gushed, and Cordelia rolled her eyes. Buffy must know those were fake, but alright, Cordelia wouldn't want Xander to give real jewelry to other girls, including Buffy and Willow – any jewels had to go to her and her alone.

"This pin is so pretty, thank you." It was, if you liked something hanging from the sharp end – but then again this was Buffy, Little Miss Slays A Lot.

"And this blade claw thingy could be useful during patrol, and the hairpins are sharp and …."

Giles leaned over the fakes and looked at them. "Ahm, Xander, where did you get these?" Giles asked Xander who gave a casual shrug.

"Meh, I found grandfather's box labeled 'Boxer' which was funny because no one in the family was ever in the boxing business."

Miss Calendar stepped closer, picking up one of the hairpins. "I think the box had nothing to do with boxing, Mr Harris."

"I don't think …" Giles said, and Cordelia's temper spiked. Xander, you idiot!

"What do you mean it's real?!" Cordelia screeched, furious – those should be hers then! She was Xander's girlfriend! Miss Calendar put the small-ish crate onto one of the tables.

"Just as I said," Miss Calendar began, handing the pins back to Buffy, "those stones are genuine."

"Xander, that box, it doesn't mean boxing as in two men fighting; it means the 'Boxer Rebellion' that happened in China," Giles revealed to him.

"And it has nothing to do with boxing," Angel put in. Of course not, it does however have to do with looting – she did pay attention in history class when the teacher was lecturing about that war in China, when many valuables were stolen.

"You were there, Angel?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah..."

Of course he was – he was like a million year old sexy broody vampire, BUT a good vampire.

"Fascinating …" Giles' attention was on Angel now, "come to tea sometime and you can tell me about it … I know that there was a Slayer there during that time period."

Of course she was – and who cared!

"Yes, Spike killed her. He got lucky."

The bleached one, right? The one with the cheekbones? The one that was with the crazy one what's her name?

"Can we go back to present giving?" Cordelia piped in, "I have things to do," like calling her hairdresser to make an appointment.

"Miss Summers, Buffy, this is my present to you," Miss Calendar said as she handed over the present to Buffy, who carefully unwrapped the colorful paper to reveal an Ouija board game.

Miss Calendar pointed at the game. "The box contains a game board, a planchette, and the instructions. Now can somebody bring over the box that those creeps left behind."

"I saw the littlest vampire – I think the others called him Dalton carrying this. Giles, do you know what this is?" Buffy asked as she put the gifts on the table. "Oh Miss Calendar, will it be okay if you'd drive me and this home later?"

"Yes, it's no problem," Miss Calendar nodded and smiled at Buffy, who started to gather the presents. Miss Calendar turned to Giles. "Rupert, do you know what is in the box?"

She really didn't care what was in that creepy and dusty box; it could be something icky and dead – considering that a vampire had it.

Giles was looking at the box. "I have no idea. Can, can it be opened?"

"Well, Rupert, this looks like a release here." Miss Calendar worked the latch and opened the box.

They all leaned closer, except for Cordelia, after all she really didn't want to see what was in there. Buffy leaned back, looking disgusted by whatever was there. Suddenly an armor clad arm sprung up, grabbed Willow by the throat, and began choking her. Cordelia jumped back. Angel and Buffy rushed in and pried the arm off Willow, who stumbled back into Xander, who held her up so that she could catch her breath.  
Angel stuffed the struggling arm back inside, and Buffy slammed the lid shut, latching it closed; Xander hugged the coughing redhead nerd girl.

Giles went to Willow and Xander. "Good heavens. Willow, are you all right?" Giles asked once he reached them.

Buffy came over to rub Willow's shoulders. "Willow? That thing had a major grip, perhaps you should sit down."

"W-" she coughed while massaging her neck, wincing, "what was that?"

Oz came over with a glass of water. "It looked like an arm."

Angel appeared to be spooked. "It can't be. She wouldn't."

Xander glared at Angel. "What, uh, is the vamp's version of 'snakes in a can', or do you care to share?"

Really, what's his head damage? So what if Angel dates Buffy, Xander should be focusing on her – Cordelia his girlfriend, not on who Buffy was currently dating!

"Angel?" Buffy prompted.

"It-it's a legend, way before my time," Angel started to explain, haltingly. "Of a demon brought forth to rid the Earth of the plague of humanity. Separate the righteous from the wicked... and to burn the righteous down. They call him the Judge."

Giles was cleaning his glasses. "The Judge? This is he?"

Angel gave a small smile. "Not all of him."

Oh great, there were more creepy severed body parts somewhere – please do NOT pick me to be in some body part finder squad, Cordelia thought.

Buffy raised her hand. "Um, still needing backstory here."

Can she go home now?!

"Um... He, he, he couldn't be killed, yes?"

That's Buffy's problem not Cordelia's.

"Um, a-an army was sent against him," Giles continued. "Most of them died... but, uh, finally they were able to dismember him, but, uh... not kill him."

Angel continued, "The pieces were scattered, buried in every corner of the Earth."

"So all these parts are being brought here," Miss Calendar mussed, watching the box the arm was locked in.  
Buffy nodded. "By Drusilla. The vamps outside were Spike's."

Angel sighed, "She's just crazy enough to do it."

"Do what, reassemble the Judge?" Willow, finally able to breathe again, asked.

"And bring forth Armageddon," Angel said with dead finality in his voice.

"Is anybody else gonna have cake?" Cordelia suddenly asked, breaking the tension, and with that, she went to the pool table where the small, delicious, red velvet with banana cream and chocolate cake rested. 

Nobody paid her any attention.

"We need to get this out of town," she heard Giles say; she just ignored the happenings and sliced the cake, awarding herself a hefty portion.

"Angel," Miss Calendar said. "You have to do it. You're the only one that can protect this thing."

"What?" that was Buffy – not surprisingly. "What about me?" Buffy asked.

"What," Miss Calendars voice asked, "you're just gonna skip town for a few months?"

"'Months?'"

Months? Where do they live, in the dark ages? Hello, haven't they heard of plane travel? Cordelia turned to see Angel looming over Buffy who was looking at the floor.

"She's right," he said in quiet voice, "I gotta get this to the remotest region possible."

"But that's not months," Buffy stated.

Angel gestured grandly. "I gotta catch a cargo ship to Asia, maybe trek to Nepal..."

Buffy lips quirked up. "You know, those newfangled flying machines really are much safer than they used to be."

Exactly, and faster too!

"And you do not need to breathe," Oz phrased that as a question, but at Angel's inpatient nod, the musician continued, "so traveling in the cargo hold will not damage you."

Angel took a step back and ran a hand through his spiked hair. "I can't fly. There's no sure way to guard against the daylight. I-I-I don't like this any more than you do, Buffy. But there's no other choice."

"In other words, Dead-Boy is afraid of flying!" Xander piped in teasingly.

Buffy then sighed. "When?" she asked, seemingly giving up on the idea of stuffing Angel in the dark box and putting him with the arm on an airplane and flying him off to Borneo.

"Tonight. As soon as possible."

"But it's my birthday." Buffy looked down, again. She looked like a kicked puppy, pathetic.

"Yeah, Dead-Boy, you can not bail on Buffy's birthday." Then Xander paused. "Your present better be worth it if you go."

"I'll drive you to the docks."

Cordelia grudgingly put the leftovers – mostly untouched dip and chips, along with the cake and all of Buffy's presents into her own car. She would drive Giles and Willow to the library then she'd drive straight home. As she walked away, she heard Xander say,

"Oz, my man," Xander said, "can you give me lift home and then to the library."

"Sure, no problem."

***Much later -month or two***

 

Cordelia was walking with Harmony and the rest of her group. Nobody had remembered that yesterday they all, except for her, wanted to hump Xander Harris.

"Cody Weinberg called me at home last night," Harmony was saying – she always stayed on top of any dating gossip. Harmony looked so excited at the prospect of a date and eager for praise from the Head Cheerleader, like a lapdog wagging its tail and waiting for treats from her mistress. Cordelia admitted to herself that that felt good and was very amusing. But it was also becoming old – and for some reason Cordelia could not pin down the correct word, maybe unsatisfying?

"Cody Weinberg? The one with the 350sl?" Cordelia asked – she wasn't really interested, but it could be important information for her to use.

"The very one. Said he's thinking of asking me to the pledge dance on Thursday."

"That's so huge!"

"Yeah, there's just two other girls he's gonna ask first, and if they refuse, then I'll..." Harmony reeled when she was interrupted by a body slamming into her side.

A familiar body, dressed in faded black jeans and a shirt that had gone out of fashion years and years ago.

"Watch it!" Harmony snapped at him. Xander turned to her and gave her an apology.

"God!" Harmony exclaimed as she looked him up and down, "Y'know, I'm glad your mom stopped working at the drive-through long enough to dress you." Then Harmony sniffled and turned back to Cordelia and the others. "Did you see Jennifer's backpack? It is so a crying..." Harmony droned on.

And suddenly Cordelia could not take it anymore.

"Harmony, shut up!" she snapped. "Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep."

"I'm not a sheep," Harmony protested.

Cordelia turned to her Cordettes and truly rammed into them. "You're all sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is."

And with that, the two of them walked away hand in hand.

"I can not believe I did that!" Cordelia half wailed half whispered.

"Just breathe, you did well. I'm proud of you, Cordy."

Walking away from her clique of 'Cordettes' – she supposed that now they'd have to call themselves something different was the hardest and most wonderfully feeling Cordelia had ever felt in her life.

 

***Chase Residence***

 

She was in her room, readying herself to go to bed, wondering where her hairbrush went and wondering about that faint chalky scent. Perhaps some smell from school had clung to her – she and Xander did spend some quality time in the supply closet.

That didn't explain her missing brush. Oh well, she'd just ask Mrs Carlos their housekeeper.

***Morning***

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!"

That was the sound that was heard from the window of the Chase residence the next morning.

Cordelia herself however was staring at her floor length mirror in growing disbelief and horror.

She was blonde – and small and flat! And she had red eyes!

What?

How?!

Oh this had to be Buffy's fault somehow. Or maybe not – this was more in the line of magic – so Willow, or what's her name, the one that enchanted every female in the school to fell in love at Xander ...

Amy Madison!

Wait, why would Amy do this; why would Willow?

"Well, this is unexpected."

The voice came from somewhere by her feet. Cordelia looked down to see... a furry animal.

"Aiiiii!" She jumped away. "What is ...Mrs CARLOS!"

"Oi, tone down the volume!" the furry thing said – it spoke! Its bushy, white tipped tail and pointed ears twitched.

"I'm your familiar, you can do magic; there at the dressing table, its ..."

"Corseque." It was a robotic voice and it came from some sort of triangular pin on her bedside table. When it spoke, lights blinked in sync with its words.

"Right, Corseque," the fur ball nodded, with its – kinda cute – head.

"As for how we got here, the last thing I recall is being in a cage in a vehicle and then being drugged and hidden in your closet by some guy during the night."

"I was placed here by a man who took me from Miss Rynith; she created me and the other device for Miss Fate. That man stole me before I could be given to my partner. But considering that you have considerable magical levels – I'm reporting to duty!" the thing – calling itself Corseque said.

"Wait..." It was a mark of the weirdness she was surrounded by before, thanks to Spoke Squad, "What is your name and why can I feel your emotions?"

"My name is Adsila, and I used to be just a fox, just a kit. But now ..."

Adsila glowed and grew until a little reddish orange haired girl with fox ears and a tail stood before Cordelia. Her eyes were slated and yellow colored with sited pupil as she blinked at her.

"I borrowed some clothing while you were asleep – otherwise, I'd be in the nude. It doesn't bother me, but I'm sure that you'd be uncomfortable."

Cordelia could only nod.

"Miss Cordelia?"

That was Mrs Carlos. "I'm fine, um...are my parents home?"

"No, miss, but there is breakfast for you on the table."

"All right, thank you, Mrs Carlos." When she heard that the housekeeper walk downstairs, Cordelia turned to Adsila. "Turn back; you are coming with me to school."

"Ma'am, don't forget me," Corseque said.

Cordelia picked up the 'gem' and fastened it to her non existent cleavage – and where were her designer clothes?

Her shoes!?

Somebody would pay for this!

 

***High-school Library***

 

Cordelia didn't stop until she entered the library.

"Giles, where are you?!" she yelled.

"Erm ..."

"It's me Cordelia; yes, I'm blonde; yes, I'm flat, and yes, my clothes and shoes are missing. Fix it!"

"Giles!" Buffy wailed – a different looking Buffy but Cordelia would recognize that freak anywhere and anyplace. Despite the size shrinking, and growing her hair into Rapunzel's hairdo, she was definitely Buffy Summers.

"Child, wh -who are you?" Giles came toward Buffy. He apparently didn't recognize her – maybe it was time to get his head examined; he was clobbered over the head too many times.

"I'm Buffy! Get with the program, something happened and..." Buffy started to rant – hey Cordelia had every right to rant and all right, Buffy too since she shrunk – but at least she was flatter than Cordelia so that was good.

"Dear God, Buffy?” and that was Giles, the useless librarian, as he started to clean his glasses with force.

"Buffy! THIS is all your fault!" Cordelia came behind the table to furiously point at Buffy, getting into her face.

"Who are you, Sailor Moon?" Buffy asked, smirking; that little, Cordelia knew that Buffy recognized her as well and put a pipe in her mouth. What? Buffy didn't smoke.

"I'm Cordelia, what are you smoking?"

"You don't look like Cordy, and I don't smoke – this is an accessory made from the finest Chinese porcelain." Buffy waved the 'accessory' with emphasis, then her eyes went to Adsila, and she nodded at the fox-doggy thing that had sat down by Cordelia.

"Who is the cutey?" Buffy asked.

Blue eyes on the reddish-brown furred face blinked at Cordelia's friend or was it frenemy? "I'm Adsila!"

Buffy blinked once, twice...okay, Buffy had prettier eyes than Cordelia, so unfair.

"And she talks," Buffy stated, her face and voice deadpan. Then she looked at Cordelia, her eyebrow climbing into her hairline, which was a very pale blonde.

"Cute friend you have there Cordy." Buffy said.

"My mother said that a man – Jan Congeria brought her for me." Actually, it was the housekeeper that said that – she however didn't know when this Jan brought Adsila, and Adsila told a different story entirely.  
Adsila curled her bushy tail over her front paws and cocked her head to the right, listening.

"Was he, by perchance, a teacher?"

"Mother didn't say. But our housekeeper said that he was from the Electric Company."

"And your parents just accepted the cutie?" Buffy asked next – it was as if she could almost see what had caused the change.

"Children!" Giles exclaimed, exasperated. "Can you explain, why and how this happened? What did you do last night?"

But before either Buffy or Cordelia could answer.

"I'm a Terminator!"

The library door opened with a bang, and a slightly taller than herself boy – with braided blond hair, one lock sticking out on top like an antenna ran in, waving his hands, followed by an equally blonde but taller and busty and curvaceous woman in a blue suit and a big black and white dog at her heels.

"Calm down, Xander," the taller blonde trailing behind him tried to calm … Xander. Her boyfriend became blonde too.

"I can't calm down, Wills – don't you see I have a robotic arm!" He waved said robotic arm at his companion, who sighed in exasperation.

Apparently, Willow was now a busty blonde with brown eyes, and Xander was equally changed with a darker shade of blond hair and amber eyes and a metallic arm and by the way he walked up and down-- most likely a leg too.

"You are not – you just have a robotic arm and leg and ..." Buffy intervened.

Which set off the spaz boy.

"LEGGG!!!!!!!!!!" Xander grabbed his hair and pulled.

"How did you know Mr. Calm has a robotic leg?" Cordelia asked as she threw a book at Xander's head to shut him up. He was giving her a headache.

"M-Miss Chase!" Giles exclaimed as he went over ... and passed Xander, who was sitting on the floor nursing a welt throbbing on his head, to pick up the book Cordelia used to calm down her boyfriend.

"The way he walked was slightly tilted, so ..."

"Ahh," Cordelia nodded.

"Guys!" Buffy called out.

"Huh, who are you?" Xander asked as he continued to rub the welt on his head.

"She is Buffy, dumbass – you know, Miss-Slays-a-lot," Cordelia said. Then she turned to Giles. "Better think of a way to solve this. I do not fancy missing cheerleader practice … and I want my chest back!"

"Oh yeah, Cordy, you are as flat as a board now," Willow drawled … the computer nerd just made fun of her? Queen of Sunnydale High? She suddenly gained a chest and she thought she was all that?

"Don't call me Cordy, little miss softer side of Sears(,)" Cordelia snapped at the former redhead, who merely flickered a lazy eyebrow.

"Children!!!" Giles yelled, suddenly, but Cordelia maintained her glare at the computer nerd.

"Oi – blondies!" Buffy's voice interrupted the comeback Cordelia was ready to deliver. "Did some guy come to your home yesterday?"

"Jan Congeria," Xander said, emerging from his hiding place – why was Xander hiding again and does she need to peg him with another – but heavier book?

"Man, what is with you and milk?" Oz asked. When did he get here – and he was blonde too, a very spiky blonde with pretty blue eyes? "You've been avoiding it all day."

Milk? Really, dufus?

"I don't like to drink milk, all right! I don't wanna!" Xander cried – he actually cried. And glared.

"Xander, that is not for you," Giles said pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's for my neighbor's cat."

"Ahh, OK then."

"Jan Congeria was apparently at my house talking to my father," Willow said then. "And this is Aleshanee. Dad said that the same man brought her to our house before I woke up." She pointed at the white and black spotted dog, who was sniffing at Adsila.

"Right," Buffy drawled. "One, I think this is permanent. And done by Giles' buddy Ethan Rayne."

"WHAT?!" Cordelia yelled in sync with everybody.

"How is it Ethan?" Giles asked.

Who cares! "This is not permanent! FIX IT!!!!!" Cordelia demanded. They needed to fix it; she wanted her body back – how could she be a famous actress if she was looking like how she looked now!!??

"Oh, knock it off, Cordy, you might be flat as a board ..." Xander started.

"I am not flat!" Cordelia screeched.

"And I am not short!" Xander yelled back at her.

"Nobody called you short! Buffy is short, you idiot, not you!"

"And how is Ethan involved in all of this?" Willow's next question brought Cordelia back, and she pushed Xander away, so that he toppled to the ground.

Buffy bit slightly on her pipe. "I'll explain. The name Jan is short for Janus, and Congeria is Latin for Chaos. Also this is somewhat similar to the spell he did on Halloween. Only far more potent and not to mention targeted."

Buffy waved her hand – and Cordelia just noticed that she was wearing real silk and Venetian lace. Why her??? 

Why?'!!!!

"Nobody sees the changes but us. And you, Giles," then Buffy shrugged, casually, "but I haven't met any other person that is aware of the magic and what we do, or Angel, I haven't seen him either."

At this, the door to the library swung open and Jenny Calendar walked in, her eyes darted around, looking for something, and when her gaze met the group, she faltered – her eyes flew toward Giles for a moment.

"Rupert, can I ..."

"Miss Calendar." Buffy stepped closer, cutting across the computer science teacher's words. "Do you notice something different about all of us?" She pointed at the room in general for emphasis.

"No... I should..."

"Jenny, wait please," Giles said while he gently touched Miss Calendar's elbow, then he adjusted his glasses, suddenly flustered as Jenny turned back and faced him.

"Oh for the love of," Cordelia exploded. "Miss Calendar lied and chose the kooky gypsy clan over us, which resulted in Miss-Slays-a-lot's psycho boyfriend to lose his soul. Get over it! Spank your inner Mopped, but get over it. We have bigger problems than one more blood sucker in Sunnydale."

"What is going on?" Miss Calendar looked from one person to the next, her onyx eyes full with intent.

"Well, it's like this," Giles said while focusing on his maybe again girlfriend, "the children do not look the same as they did the previous evening, they woke up … different."

Miss Calendar blinked and tilted her head, like a confused kitten. "They do not look any different."

"Well we do!" Cordelia started to rant; she had enough of this indignity. "I had a fabulous figure and now I'm flat with tacky shoes and blonde hair – though I look good blonde. Buffy turned into a tiny dolly Lolita; Xander became a spazzy long haired blonde idiot … though that is not much different, and nerd girl is not a redhead anymore but a gun toting blonde."

Miss Calendar blinked. "I don't see, or even remember the difference?" she asked, "But Rupert does?"  
Seeing everyone's nods, she hummed. "Are you sure you are not under some spell that makes you think all that?"

"NO!"

 

***Half an hour later***

 

Miss Calendar – who insisted on being called Jenny decided to cast bones to find out what happened to them. Buffy was reading some book, while Oz was standing near, with a book also in hand. Willow was typing on the library computer – from there she could more easily hack into the school's mainframe. Xander was napping on the two seat. And Giles was also researching somewhere in the stacks of books he pulled out from somewhere.

Suddenly Snyder marched inside. "Right, little miscreants, stop loitering. You have short..."

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!" Xander roared, and there was lightning and suddenly the swinging doors transformed into a palm and slapped Snyder like how one would slap a fly.

Xander stared at the unconscious body. "Did I do that?"

Oz nodded. "Yes."

Xander walked to the body and poked it with a stick. "Why the heck did I do that?" he asked. Nobody answered him, then after half a minute.

"Well, that does it then." Buffy had said.

Xander stood up and stopped with the poking of obnoxious principle … no wait, Xander knelt down again and delivered a chop to the back of Snyder's head, sending the Principal back into LaLa land.

"Somebody will have to patrol instead of me," Buffy continued.

Cordelia whirled at her. "Wait – why. You are the Slayer; it's your job!" Don't try to lob anything on me!

"I don't get paid – so not a job," Buffy pointedly said, all while reading her book.

"She can't patrol," Oz stated deadpan.

"I u - understand that the changes are distracting," Giles said, while ripping his glasses off and cleaning them with vengeance again, "but you are still the Slayer."

"She is sensitive to pain," Oz said flatly.

"She was having trouble with the human bullies, and if she is sent out, she will die." Oz slated a look at Buffy, who just nodded solemnly back at Oz.

Buffy nodded again. "It's true," she confirmed Oz's words, then she turned back to Giles, "When I hit that guy … I … it felt like my knuckle bone fractured, and for brief moment I couldn't move, because it hurt so much and my eyes went blurry ...and..." While Buffy was telling her experience to Giles, the Watcher reached forward and flicked her forehead.

"Ouch, Giles!" Buffy immediately put her small palm over the spot while she teared up.

"What is wrong with you? That wasn't cool, man," Oz chided Giles – who looked chagrined but also worried about Buffy.

"That hurt?" Giles asked while he stepped back.

"Yes!" Buffy was now rubbing her forehead and blinking furiously so that the tears would not fall. Shit, Buffy couldn't be out patrolling – argh, Cordelia would have to go out with Corseque and Adsila. And Xander better come with her or she'd make him pay!

"It felt like you'd slapped me!" Buffy exclaimed, her voice slightly shaky.

"I'm terribly sorry," Giles apologized again.

"She cannot go on patrol, Rupert, she'll get killed," Miss Calendar said, now frowning in concern.

"Miss Calendar," Buffy drew Miss Calendar's attention to herself, "how did Angel lose his soul or is my new liability well new?"

Yeah because you and him did the horizontal mambo – only if Buffy was so sensitive to pain, how did they manage that?

"He felt accepted and loved by you. That was the true reason," Miss Calendar stated.

"He felt loved, trusted, and accepted by me, and he and I shared an intimate moment," Buffy said matter of fact.

"Oh, well about that, I umm, made a program that translates lost Romani language," Miss Calendar said hesitantly, looking from Buffy to Giles.

"You are looking for a Soul Restoration Spell?" Giles asked, and there was caution in his voice, why?

But then again Giles was always, heh, watchful of magic. Why else was he NOT teaching Willow who so painfully and obviously wanted to learn?

Miss Calendar nodded. "Aahh yes."

"Miss Calendar, stay with Giles and do not go out after nightfall," Buffy said, while tapping the cover of the book.

"That's all right," Miss Calendar smiled at Buffy, "no one knows that I'm from the Kalderash tribe and"

"Miss Calendar," Buffy interrupted her, again, though her voice was even and kind, "Drusilla is a seer; she might already have had a vision that you are able to do the restoration spell."

"That is OK – I'll take the patrol." Xander raised his hand from his place on the floor, where he was still poking the unconscious principal.

Giles clucked his tongue. "Xander, it is not your duty to...."

"Neither is it Buffy's. She died once so technically she is done with that duty," Willow said matter of fact. 

"Besides, the way you use this word is incorrect. Duty implies choice – Buffy had none. She did not chose to be a slayer; she is not bound by oath to use her powers."

Buffy nodded. "C'est correct."

Since when did Buffy speak french or did she want to sound chic?

Giles turned toward Buffy, his eyes wide in astonishment. "Buffy – since when do you speak French?"

"Since I woke up this morning …. and I also speak German, Italian, and Japanese, oh and Arabic. Oh and Greek – also apparently Occitan and Monégasque, whatever that is," Buffy listed but ended with a frustrated huff accompanied by throwing her arms into the air and sitting heavily on the chair with a small pout.

Mr. Giles then turned around and brought a couple of books and then put them before Buffy to read in the language they were written in out loud, then to summarize what she had read.

"So we, for some reason," Cordelia waved at them all, "went totally blonde and learned another language?"

"It would appear so," Mr Giles said while looking over Buffy translating the Latin text into Greek.

"Not to rain on anybody's parade," Buffy looked up from her texts, "Willow can you check if our subjects have changed – before I left for school today, my mom – who totally didn't notice anything different than usual," Buffy ignored Cordelia's muttering that Joyce Summers never saw anything amiss in general, "Mom, said that since I passed French, I applied for Spanish. I believe that the new teacher Miss Greenaway is teaching that class."

Willow was already accessing their time tables. "You are right. Xander, you have added to your usual classes Advanced Chemistry, along with Biomolecular Engineering."

"What!" Xander went to Willow and peered over her shoulder. "No way – oh hey, I do very well in those. Expect for the fact I've never been – or did we even have these subjects before?"

Xander shrugged; the motion that was repeated around the room.

"Moving on," Willow said, while typing on the keyboard, "well I have Vehicle engineering and Metallurgy and Law Studies." She leaned back in her chair. "Now those I know we did not have here before."

Then she went back to the screen, scrolling down.

"Cordy, you also have Law Studies with me, and Molecular engineering, something you have with Oz. Oz, you have Ecological engineering, Culinary; OK, apparently you are into ecology and cooking – nice combo there. Buffy, you have, along with Spanish, a Sociology class and Ethnology and Anthropology." Then she pressed a couple of keys, "and you have two more classes - Folklore Studies and the Arts."

Buffy frowned, "That is a bit much, isn't it? With the regular classes?"

"That is just it; apparently you passed most of them already."

"What? How and when?" then she paused, "how did I do?" Buffy asked in a small, thin voice.

"Well you are apparently a brainy girl now. You passed my scores .. or my old scores."

"Oh," Buffy breathed; she looked a bit overwhelmed.

"Uhuh," Willow muttered. "Big problem guys, we are going to be late to our classes – I'm printing our timetables and maps so that you'll know where the class is located, and we will meet before school. Oz, will you take Buffy home after class?" 

At Oz's affirmative nod, Willow continued, "take the timetable with your names on it and – Miss Calendar, Mr Giles you need to sign forms saying that you held us, so that we won't get detentions today for being late."

 

***Nightfall***

 

Cordelia was dressed in her more comfortable – but still modern clothes; she went to the store and bought a whole new wardrobe, and she had put on sneakers.

"Corseque," Cordelia called for attention.

The game flashed, "Yes ma'am."

"You have attack forms, yes?" Cordelia asked, thinking – she knew that Corseque had seven forms, now it – no she, she was a female was in her 'Standby Form'. "Cane any of them can shoot fire? Because vampires are very flammable."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"And I can, in my humanoid form, cast any spell you can," Adsila added.

"Right, well, time to go. I'm driving first to pick up Xander, then we'll be hitting the cemeteries."

 

***Cemetery***

 

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Cordelia grumbled as she waved her hand before her face. It stank – didn't the vampires hear of baths or perfume?

She was holding Corseque in her Assault Form - three-lobe blade on a 1.8 to 2.5 meter shaft. The head featured a long spike and two shorter and stronger lateral blades. Perfect for dealing with vampires so that they didn't get dust all over her.

Adsila was in her humanoid form, kicking the undead's butts and dusting them with a stake in the heart or by beheading them or with a fire blast.

"Perhaps because you discovered that you can transform that brooch thing into a scythe that talks?" Xander asked sarcastically – he was just jealous, because he didn't have such awesome partners, and OK, Cordelia nearly took off his head with her weapon.

"Oh shut it, Mister I can turn stuff into other stuff," Cordelia grumbled then walked ahead, leaving Xander to mope behind her.

"Cordelia?" Xander called suddenly.

Cordelia turned, frowning – he could see over the rim of newspaper he now held that she was frowning.

"What?" she snapped.

"Read the damn paper!" He shoved the paper into her hands and threw a stake at an approaching vampire.

'Mrs & Mr. Kendall come home to find their teenage daughter Harmony Kendall missing and their house in disarray. A missing report was filed by the concerned parents, who called on Sunnydale PD Detective P. Stein, who is leading the investigation, to call the FBI for help. Quantico BAU team will be landing at the Army base Airport tomorrow.   
Our prayers are with the missing teen Harmony Kendall.'

 

"Oh my God, Harmony!" Cordelia re-read the entry.

 

***Next Day***

 

"Cordelia," she heard a voice calling her.

"W-what?" she grumbled and opened her eyes. To see a transparent …

"Harmony!?"

 

To be continued

 

1/3


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